By Ernie O. Cecilia
HOW can I achieve balance between my personal and professional life? I have been working for more than 15 years in a large manufacturing firm. I like my job; it gives me a sense of achievement. Over the years, I have been rewarded for my contributions and now I am a senior supervisor. My schedule is usually hectic and I am beginning to realize that my work is my whole life. Because of this, I tend to neglect my health and my family. Can you tell me how to balance my personal and professional life?- Anxious Juggler
I am glad that you realize what's happening in your life. Millions of loyal and dedicated employees just go on until retirement without realizing the imbalance. There is nothing wrong with being loyal and dedicated, traits you must have if you want to reap the rewards of working.
But life is not all work.
Life is not an "either/or" proposition. We live in an environment where there is work and there is play. You get pressured to complete a task, but you must ensure good relationship with others in doing your tasks. All around us, we see tension between opposites --opposing ideologies, male versus female, old versus young -- as we live in a continuum of polarities.
Robert Aitken Roshi reminds us, "Healthy tension is the natural complementarity of structure and inspiration, responsibility and personal fulfillment, discipline and freedom, authority and egalitarianism, tradition and relevance, male and female, form and void, life and nonexistence. Neglect one side of the pair, and it will turn around and bite."
Like it or not, life is like that. There are several aspects of life that demand our attention as we live -- work and play, ourselves and others, etc.
To enjoy life to the fullest, we must be aware that a tension exists between the polarities described by Roshi. It is unavoidable. But that tension can be healthy, if we know how to maintain the right balance.
Let's be glad that nature helps us in our balancing act. If we work too much and neglect our health, we get sick and must stop working. If we play more and work less, we will not have enough money to pay for our expenses. If we spend more than we earn, we get saddled with debt. If we don't pay our debts, our creditors run after us. There are cause-and-effect situations in our life. Luck has nothing to do with what happens to you -- it's the cause you did that produced the effect that you enjoy or suffer.
It seems that the easy solution to this age-old dilemma is moderation. But it is easier said than done. People know that sweet, oily, and salty foods are bad for our health if taken in excess. Yet, we see all around us a lot of sick people because they eat more of these than they should. One third of the world population are obese and have heart problems while two-thirds are dying of starvation. If that is not imbalance, I don't know what is.
Here are a few helpful tips in balancing your life.
1. Understand that there is more to life than just work. We also have to pay attention to our health, our finances, our family, our spirituality, our community, and other aspects of life that are important to us.
2. For each aspect that is important to you, list down descriptions of your present situation. List down what you are doing in excess or what you are neglecting and those crying out for your attention.
3. For each aspect, draw up an ideal situation. List down the results you want to see in each area. For instance, in your "Personal Finances" aspect, if you see that you have a P1 million debt, you might want a result like "reduction of debt to zero in five years." You might list down "closer family relations" in your "Family" aspect. Be specific and don't strive to be too grandiose. Sometimes, simple things that don't cost you can put more balance in your life.
4. To achieve the results you want, list down under each result area the things that you have to stop doing, start doing, and continue doing. Write down what will increase your chances of achieving the results you want. List down practical things you can do that would not add tension on yourself. For instance, you can "take out children every Sunday" and you can do it after lunch. That way, you don't have to spend much.
5. Review and revise these lists and keep a copy handy. Discuss the lists with your family and ask for support and advice. They might be able to suggest something that can help you achieve the balance you want. They will also understand the problem that you have.
Periodically, go back to your lists and see how you are doing. Of course, there will be compromises. You may need the support and understanding of other people to achieve your plans. Identify who these are and ask for their support.
Never attempt to neglect an important aspect of your life. Spend time for yourself as you spend time for others. Above all, never neglect your health -- you'll need it to achieve everything on your list.
If you do this right, you will reap the rewards of a more balanced life. As for me, I have narrowed down my key results areas to love, peace, and prosperity. I know what I want and how to get them. Whenever panic or stress comes knocking, I refer to my lists and say, "Sorry, my schedule is full. I don't have time for panic or stress."
(Ernie O. Cecilia is the president and CEO of EC Business Solutions and Career Center, a human resource consulting firm. Send feedback to ernie_cecilia@yahoo.com.)
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